Monday, May 11, 2009

Experimenting with Pitch

Querytracker.net is hosting a contest today on writing one-line pitches. I believe you have to have a finished manuscript in order to enter so I haven't, but I have spent the last few days writing pitches just to see what I could come up with and here's how they went.

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When the dead bodies of Vismour's renown begin piling up in the streets and no one, not even God's Elect, are being open about it, can seven unlikely heroes solve the mystery and forestall the darkness?

In a world where power is had by kings and courts, where magic is a thing as tangible as the elements, only the cunning thrive and only one cleric's faith can stop the cunning.

As Eloy tries to discover why Vismour's clerics are dying off under mysterious circumstances and the young thief, Nakine, discovers the bitter realities of joining the guild to hone her skills, a clever antagonist uses them both to caress the power he believes belongs only to him.

In Vismour, deception is a game played best when Babel's Moon shines brightly in the Upper Realms, but while Nakine plays to satiate her lust for wealth, Dreiyn plays to save their world from an evil so vile that not even the God's Elect seem to want to intervene.

In the realm of Vismour, a young girl learns the harsh truth about life on the streets as a hidden power grows and threatens not only the kingdom's faith but also its crown.

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So after thinking it through, I have come to the conclusion that I need a lot more practice on writing pitches. Oh yes... a lot more practice! Oh and I think Dreiyn needs a new name, but I haven't stopped to think about that one yet.

6 comments:

  1. It looks good to me, but I'm not sure about all that myself. I don't have the guts for that yet! So, kudos for having guts! ;-)

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  2. Practice makes perfect. :D This is hard stuff to do. Something that's been a big help to me is this: http://edittorrent.blogspot.com/2009/04/log-line-pitches-or-how-to-tweet-your.html

    It looks a lot easier than it is. I'm also very grateful to all the wonderful people that help fine tune these things. Other people's perspectives can be a big help.

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  3. Pitches are so hard. If you try to squeeze too much into them, the storyline seems too complicated and the impact is lost. But, if you don't allude to certain layering in the plot, the pitch seems too watered down and linear to be interesting.

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  4. Litgirl01 , I don't know about me having guts, but thanks!

    Danyelle, thanks! That's very helpful!

    Angela, amen!

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  5. Pitches are interludes. I'm thinking. Just a way to open the door to what your follow up shebang is, but yes it's got to be good. And yours sounds totally awesome!

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  6. Thank you! A door-opener is a good way to look at them.

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