Monday, February 22, 2010

Whoops - Not so Cool

This little blogfest is brought to you by the letter L and the number... Oh, sorry. My mind is so clouded by this cold that I jumped to the wrong show. Laurel is hosting this one. Again, I have to apologize. I said I would do this, so I am, but it's going up unedited. I'm a tad embarrassed, or at least I will be when I can think clearly. Enjoy it for its imperfections! (Or at least try! lol!)

PS - It's not a funny one... like at all.

PPS - I don't know how to indent. My husband usually does that for me, but I slept in this morning and didn't catch him before he left for work, so sorry for the formatting issues.

PPPS - Oh wait... There isn't a PPPS. Never mind.

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Nakine’s hands shook as she watched the dead body float down the Assuage. She kept herself perfectly upright as she stared at it. She hadn’t had a choice of course. She tried to console herself, to justify it, but it never brought the comfort she was hoping it would. She wanted to scream, to turn and thrust the daggers she wielded into the two men who stood thirty paces back. Gramble and Dreiyn.

She felt so cold.

She knew she couldn’t turn around until her emotions were in check, so she waited, watching the body of the woman she had slaughtered drift across the peaks of the water. Her name was Tabba, and it had been an accident. Nakine knew that, but wasn’t about to tell anyone else. When she confronted the woman, Tabba had rushed forward, thinking she could escape, but a raven had swooped into the room at the same moment and startled her. She had tripped over the rug lying between them and had fallen on Nakine’s daggers.

20 comments:

  1. THAT is definitely a big Whoops!

    Mine isn't that funny either, so at least we're unfunny together!

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  2. It actually is funny in a kind of black humor kind of way (startled by a raven?) I think the way you've handled this is very nice.

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  3. Couldn't have a bigger Whoops than having a lady fall on your knives... I liked this scene. It made me nervous and at the same time, I wanted to read more. Good job!

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  4. Ooh, a grisly oops. What I love in these fests is seeing a variety of ways different writers approach the prompt. Thanks for sharing this, participating in the fest and making it awesome.

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  5. Wow. I liked this a lot. A really big, ugly Whoops! Dark humor indeed. :)

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  6. What a hook! I want to read more...

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  7. Now, there's a whoops! Loved the use of the raven doing her in. Nice touch.

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  8. It's a great scene! Thanks for sharing. Here's the part where I get to brag again that I've read the whole book. Neener-neener-neener!

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  9. Lovely. :p I pray I shall never make this whoops!

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  10. Great scene - not a good whoops at all - for either of them by the sounds of it!

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  11. "He ran into my knife! She ran into my knife TEN TIMES!"

    Sorry, that's my favorite line in Chicago. Excellent prompt, Nisa. :)

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  12. Whoops! Like to see how she explains her way out of that one. :)

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  13. An "accidental" killing...makes you wonder.

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  14. Okay that's a serious whoops! In fact that's one for THE DARWIN AWARD aka A Chronicle of Enterprising Demises

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  15. Accidental death is very embarassing; especially if you only set out to "talk".

    Interesting. Very, very interesting.


    ..........dhole

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  16. Haha! Black humor indeed. And the real irony is that... Oh, never mind.

    Thanks for your comments. I couldn't get to reading blogs yesterday, but I'm going to start reading yours today.

    Stina, I'll tell you what... she lies. ;)


    Laura, ravens and Nakine, Nakine and ravens. It's kind of a funny story. :D

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  17. That is definitely one of those "ah crap" Whoops moments. Lots of intrigue here.

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  18. Poweful, def an "ah crap" moment as Feywriter said.

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