Monday, February 1, 2010

Fight! Fight! Fight!

What naturally comes after kissing fests? Fights, of course! That's right. Honeymoon's over and it's time for some action. Mireyah Wolfe at Crimson Ink is hosting a fight scene blogfest today. I feel bad that this is such short notice. I would have loved to let you all know about it before today. Hopefully, you'll be able to participate anyway because these things are so fun!

This scene is from the perspective of a 13yo girl, well, it's a fight scene. It doesn't need much of an introduction. :)

Then, with startling abruptness and despite her closed eyes, a picture of Besona’s town center appeared before her. The building was ablaze in shades of red, yellow and orange and a near-black haze of smoke billowed into the sky. Splinters from market stalls lay across the grassy square, some shattered beyond repair. However, it was the sight of the townsfolk that made her heart leap from her chest. Terror streaked across their faces as they fled from the massive force of monsters and black-cloaked men spread out behind them.

I can’t really be seeing this she thought. It’s just a dream.

She pushed against her lids, but they refused to budge. She wrestled with her muscles futilely for several moments until, at last, the images dissolved and then refocused from a fresh vantage point. It was one she recognized instantly -- her bedroom window.

A rush of panic swept over her as a surge of Grarmen and cloaked strangers dashed down her street meeting the town’s regiment of soldiers at their freshly constructed barricade. Bile rose in her throat. It had been years since her provincial fishing village had been raided and the garrison had grown since, but it seemed tiny next to the oncoming foes.


  1. Loved this Nisa! Straining to pry her eyes open only to meet her worst fears- an attack! Well done, the tension seethed throughout the entire excerpt.

  2. Great scene! Very tense and believable - loved it, Nisa. Thanks so much for sharing. :-)

  3. Thanks for sharing Nisa. Nice job. I didn't know about Fightfest, so I'll post something tomorrow.

    Great last paragraph.

  4. These fight scenes are so tense. It's making me all antsy reading through them. lol. Great scene!

  5. Great tension! I could feel the panic right along with her :)

  6. Nice tension and great fight scene!

  7. Ooh, you're so good! You made me eager to read the rest!

    I loved it!
    Jenni James

  8. Nice visuals. I can totally picture!

  9. Cool. Is this just a snippet of a bigger WIP? I thought I could smell the smoke, then realized it was my desk candle dying.

  10. Tamika, thanks! There's more to her not being able to open her eyes, but I didn't want to reveal too much. ;)

    Shannon, you always give me a confidence boost. Thank you!!

    Elle, I'll definitely be looking for yours!

    lol Karen! I haven't had a chance to read them yet. Life has me running in all directions but to the computer. Hopefully today!

    Jemi, I'm so glad! This book has a lot of fight scenes. I hope they all work well. I NEVER would have thought I'd be writing things like this. Granted, I never thought I'd be writing a novel. Period.

    Thanks, CR! :D

    Thank you, Jenni!

    Yea! I always worry about my visuals, Daisy, so thank you!

    David, lol! I could print that on the inside cover. "Read this after blowing out candle for stronger affect."

    I guess I should have explained more. This is from my current WiP - Power's Touch (or whatever it ends up being titled). It's in revision's throe, but hopefully I'll be querying in a few months. We'll see!

  11. Good luck querying, Nisa!! I wish you the best of luck--this was some awesome stuff! =D

  12. I love that you did an observation of a clash rather than a character duking it out! (sorry I'm so late in commenting on this!)

  13. Thanks, Mireyah! And thank you for hosting it! I enjoy those blogfests immensely!

    Amalia, thank you! There was a lot of variety of conflict in this blogfest. It was great!


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