Friday, July 15, 2011

What to Expect on Indepence Day

This year, we're expecting the unexpected for the independence Day Flash Fiction Blogfest. I just found out about this one too, but I thought it would be fun to practice some flash fiction. Not one of my specialties. I write epic fantasy, remember? I actually wrote out two and was hoping to get to a third because they weren't great... but you know how life goes. If you're interested in reading the other entrees, run to Ali's dojo!


Laina


The flames licked the cooking pot, weaving fantastical stories before Laina's eyes. She could have watched them play all night, but she had work to do, late as it was. She let her eyes drift back to the clothes she had spent the last hour scrubbing. Her hands stung from the boiling water, but her master didn't like spots and she didn't like the whippings that came if she left spots. The burns hurt less.

The thought was motivating. She picked up a soiled tunic, dunked it in the bucket of soapy water, then began scraping it against the rough rungs of the wash basin.

An unexpected thud brought her to her feet. It was well after midnight. No one in the house was awake but her. She clung to the dripping shirt as the sound came a second time. It was more distinct and accompanied the clash of metal.

Laina began to shake. Had marauders come to rob her master? If anything was stolen she'd get the blame. If the robbers didn't leave her for dead.

A loud wallop against the door made her jump. It shook against its frame until another loud thwack sent splinters soaring across the kitchen. Several men dressed in knights' livery entered the room, her master dangling between them.

"This your master, girl?"

Always honest, she stammered, "Yes,"

The knight turned to her master. "It's the king's punishment for you." Then he turned to Laina and smiled. "Your honesty has earned you independence."

22 comments:

  1. I LOVE your take on this! Great characterization. Way to go, Nisa.

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  2. Ooooh me likey!!! Good Job Nisa!

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  3. I love the details in your writing. Nice twist.

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  4. Ooh - I really like this story! Is it something you might turn into a novel?

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  5. Ah, NICE! I love that you wrote it in your genre!

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  6. Nisa, this was a great story and a great ending! I thought it was a lot of fun and didnt know what to anticpate! love it! now Im gonna go and follow you, isn't this flash fiction thing fun?

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  7. And now you need to expand it. I love the fantasy element to it. Well done, my friend.

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  8. Nice. Love the twist at the end of the scene.

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  9. I love this piece and I can't wait to read more of your stuff. This is exactly something I would pick up and read over and over again!

    Very well done.

    The Write Soil

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  10. Flames always weave fantastical stories for me too! Great Job!

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  11. Now THAT is a book I'd read! Very nicely done!

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  12. Intriguing! I agree with the others who have commented that they'd read more!

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  13. Is there more to this story? It could be a great beginning.

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  14. Wow! Thank you all so much for your kinds words. I wasn't expecting this response at all. Most of my novel ideas started as a shorty story. Maybe this will be the next one to evolve. Thank you!

    Canda, I'm trying to track you down to check out your blog and it's telling me that your profile pate is not available. It might be just blogger as this happened with a few other people too, but with them I was able to do a quick google search with first and last name. Send me the link to your website, please!

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  15. Nisa, did you know I have an inspiring quote from you hanging on my wall to read and lift me up when I'm feeling low? It was taken from one of your comments in relation to humility. Just thought you might like knowing you're on my inspiration wall. :)

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  16. I love it. Wow, you make flash fiction seem easy. Too bad it isn't. Great job, Nisa. And now your new picture.

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  17. What? That was it? I want MORE!

    Very nice. I love your descriptions--I felt as if I was washing clothes along with her. Well done!

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  18. Aw! Thank you! You're all so sweet and I appreciate you taking the time to comment.

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